Editor's Note: This is the first column from International Affiars Correspondent WB'05 Brandon
If there’s one thing that has always got my blood up in my 23/24 years on this earth it is my continual dismay at the haughty attitude carried by your average citizen of Toronto.
It’s not so much Canada as a whole, it’s mostly just Ontario…"Toronto, if you’re nasty," it’s as if you have that pain in your lower back, but you don’t want to say “it’s my back” you would want to be more specific as to not have the problem misdiagnosed by your health care provider. You would point directly to the problem area, the investigatory provider would pose you a question along the lines of “right here?” typically applying unnecessary pressure to impose acute pain thus judging the level of grimace on your face. Well when surveying a map of Canada if we were to run our finger across it’s supposed terrain full of “beautiful, secular, majestic, socialized healthcare” I would grimace as soon as that finger crossed no more than 1km into the torrid wasteland that is Toronto.
This is a recent development of course and on the front cover of the book you see an American who is a bit cranky at;
o Confusing street layout
o Total lack of cash machine convenience
o Overpriced Strongbow Cider
o Well really overpriced alcohol in general (drink specials anyone?)
o Complete lack of dunkin’ donuts,
o The confused Pakistani who wouldn’t acknowledge my presence while trying to get a drink at 9am
o No breakfast biscuits at McDonalds
o Canadians in general not being able to satisfy my thirst for lumber products
Now if you look underneath the cover you’ll find more that gets at me. You see, they’re terrible neighbors. Ask Montreal and Vancouver. Toronto’s current GDP is outperforming it’s neighbors at roughly 3% a year. Why? Low labor costs, higher levels of education, (61% of Torontonians have post-secondary educations) they have a long standing relationship with American automakers, GM and Ford (they produced more GM autos in 2004 than the state of Michigan), and the city is incredibly polyglot allowing numerous countries to outsource and conduct business in their native tongue without paying premium fees for the same service domestically.
Torontonians have a right to be proud of their economic prowess, and rightly so they take advantage of it, but like that guy who has too many drinks Toronto starts to get “handsy.” They thumb their nose at other countries lack of “progress,” as they can apparently do no wrong. Well here comes that refreshing slap on the face to bring them back down to earth. The city holds an unemployment rate of 8.3% (per 2.6m citizens) 2.2% higher than the rest of the country, that’s a lot of social service checks Toronto.
Cheap economic shot aside, it’s important to note that politically, they’re a bunch of over the top liberals. Any time you are reffered to as “more liberal than San Francisco” we all know you’re just trying to show off. Ontario is the NDP hotbed, and Jack Layton is a Torontonian, but things in 2006 weren’t all that great were they? Continued NDP support contingent on banning privatized healthcare that seems a bit much eh? Oh yes, and the Gomery Report, political infighting leading to levels of bias needing court review? At least in America we just ignore important inquiries, in Canada Chretien turns them into a circus because those golf balls weren’t that big of a deal. In this instance I don’t find it necessary to get into the nasty details, however simply remind you politics are politics, and the next time you blindly ask me why I voted for George Bush (which I did not, and told you three times I did not) I will ask you where all that money went, and if you want to get really nasty the words “Airbus Affair” may cross my lips.
You must remember Torontonians, that no matter how nasty everyone else seems, you share Canada’s political skeleton’s too and as we as Americans know, economic and social prosperity is limited to a number of things, so it’s prudent to temper our bragging, and finger pointing lest we get ahead of ourselves. At the end of the day we can shake hands, possibly hug, but never forget the hurt feelings brigade will always write up something smarmy and put it on the internet.
p.s. India is going to ruin you.
- BNK
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